偷窥湖人圣诞树下的礼物

A look under the 2009 Lakers Christmas tree

偷窥湖人圣诞树下的礼物

For last year's holiday season, we figured out which Los Angeles Lakers were naughty and which ones were nice,and gave them gifts accordingly. This year, however, it's been prettydifficult to spot a Laker that hasn't been nice (with the possibleexception of Sasha Vujacic), so we're just going to skip that step.

在上赛季的圣诞节期间，我们整理出了洛杉矶湖人队哪些球员表现良好，哪些球员表现顽皮，并且依据各自的表现分发礼物。然而本赛季，要来评判哪些湖人球员表现‘顽皮捣蛋’那就相当困难了（莎莎铁甲西奇除外），所以今年我们就不玩同样的花招了。

TheLakers' Christmas tree in the Staples Center locker room is covered ingifts from all over, and I was lucky enough to sneak a peek at some ofthe presents. Here is a list of what I saw:

在斯台普斯中心湖人更衣室里的圣诞树下堆满了各式各样的礼物，而我也很幸运能够偷偷瞄看其中的一些礼物。下面是我看到的几个礼物清单：

To: Ron Artest

TO：阿泰斯特

From: Mike from MTV's Jersey Shore

From:MTV电台Jersey Shore的麦克

Gift: The loquacious, self-proclaimed "Guido" from the hit MTV showwas kind enough to give Artest the thing that means most to him: hisnickname, "The Situation." It makes sense given the similaritiesbetween the two. They're both from New York, they both get into trouble when they drink alcohol,they both are "ripped up like Rambo" when it comes to the abdominalregion, and they both are capable of exploding at any moment. So thereyou have it; RonRon will henceforth be known as "The Situation." Has anice ring to it, doesn't it?

礼物：这位来自于热门MTV节目，嘴巴响个不停并自称为“全场我最帅”很友好地给了阿泰最具有意义的礼物：他的绰号“The Situation（实在不知如何翻译）”.这样说得通，因为他们俩之间的相似处。他们都是来自于纽约，他们都因喝酒陷入麻烦，他们俩都像“自我解剖”一样抖露旧事。说到脾气方面，他们都是可以随时爆发的人物。所以，阿泰从今往后将拥有那个称号“The Situation”

Side note: I didn't know Artest was in Mike's league physically until I recently saw him on the cover of Fitness
RX Magazine...goodness.

边注：我之前并不知道阿泰跟麦克都是同家俱乐部的，直到最近我在Fitness RX 杂志封面看到他。天哪！

To: Shannon Brown

TO：香农布朗

From: David Stern

From: 大卫斯特恩

Gift: After much lobbying, including a personalized website, LetShannonDunk.com,David Stern has succumbed to the will of the people (at least in L.A.)and agreed to "let Shannon dunk" in the contest this February. No wordon whether the super-athletic Brown will make John Ireland's suggestion of dunking over all three Kardashian sisters come to fruition, but it should be entertaining nonetheless.

礼物：经过大量的游说，包括那个针对性的网站LetShannonDunk.com,NBA总裁大卫斯特恩终于屈服于群众的意愿（至少是洛杉矶人的愿望）同意在二月份的扣篮大赛中“让布朗扣篮吧”。无论具有超级运动能力的布朗会不会采纳约翰爱尔兰“飞扣卡戴珊三姐妹（指奥多姆夫人及其两位姐妹）”建议，我们都应该能看到赏心悦目的表演。

To: Kobe Bryant

TO：科比布莱恩特

From: Tiger Woods

From: 老虎伍兹

Gift:I think we've all heard about Tiger's indiscretions by now, but did youknow that it was done as an early Christmas gift to Kobe? No longerwill Kobe be the most infamous sports cheater, and he has Tiger tothank. Sure Kobe had to go to trial, something Woods probably won'thave to do, but at least Kobe never had a YouTube "Slow Jam Remix" of one of his voicemails.

礼物：我想如今大家应该都听说了老虎伍兹的桃色新闻了吧，但大家有没想过这是送给科比提前的圣诞礼物呢？从今往后，科比不会再是体育史上最臭名昭著的欺骗者，他得感谢下老虎伍兹呀！没错，科比是得参加庭审，这是伍兹很可能不需要做的，但是至少科比永远不会像老虎伍兹那样在YouTube上发现有自己语音信箱声音的慢动作集锦。

To: Luke Walton

To: 卢克沃顿

From: Bill Walton

From: 比尔沃顿

Gift: Just after papa Bill announced his retirement from broadcasting, son Luke agreed to do some color commentary for the Lakers on the radio.Luke did a fine job filling in given the restraints of being a currentplayer, but his dad Bill wanted to give him the Christmas gift ofannouncing bravado. He has instilled in Luke that every sentence mustcontain "the best,""the worst,""the most," or "the least." That wouldturn a sentence like, "the Lakers look good out there" into "The Lakersare the best team in basketball history. Their opponents are simplymosquitoes buzzing around them at the campfire of the NBA Finals."Personally, I look forward to Luke's broadcasting when he retires.

礼物：当老爸沃顿宣布从广播行业退休时，儿子沃顿马上就同意为湖人电台做几场现场解说的工作。作为一名现役球员，儿子沃顿在约束自身方面做得挺好的。但是老爸沃顿想给儿子一份圣诞礼物----“虚张声势”的解说风格。老爸沃顿已经向儿子灌输了每句话都得包含有“最好的”“最差的”“最高的”“最低的”。那样子每句话都会像这样，从“湖人看起来表现不错”变成“湖人是篮球史上最强的球队，他们的对手只不过是总决赛篝火旁嗡嗡响的的小蚊子。”个人而言，我期待着小沃顿在退役后进入解说行业。

To: Pau Gasol

TO：保罗加索尔

From: Stephenie Meyer and Imprint Entertainment

From:《犯罪现场调查》的编剧与公司

Gift: After viewing Pau's tremendous work as a guest star on CSI:Miami, Meyer personally requested that Gasol play a vampire in the next installment of the Twilight Saga. When approached with the observation that "Pau Gasol couldn't play dead," Meyer replied, "Well we're hoping he can play undead!"

礼物：在看过加索尔客串《犯罪现场调查：迈阿密》精彩的表现之后，编剧个人是要求加索尔在接下来“暮光之城”部分扮演吸血鬼。但当她观察出加索尔是不能演“死人”后，她说：“好吧，我们希望他可以扮演‘不死生灵’。”

Wellfolks, that's all I could see before I was kicked out of the lockerroom, but I'm sure there are more lovely presents sitting under thattree. Hopefully someone can fill me in before Friday.

好吧，朋友们，在我被赶出更衣室之前我就只看到了这些东西，但是我肯定在那棵树下肯定还会有更好玩的礼物。希望有人能够在周五之前向我透露。(*^__^*)